24 February 2009
A New Lesson...
When I started this year, I had wonderful hopes of what my life is going to be by the end of the year. A new career in a fine company that provides me with new challenges and opportunities, a new house to start a new life, and above all, a new family of me and the woman that I love dearly. Yes, I was planning to get married this year with the woman that, even until now, I' m very certain to spend the rest of my life with... Scenes like having her as the first person I will see when I open my eyes in the morning, pick her up on my way home from the office, or just watching DVD together on the weekend seem to be so real and far from far fetch. That dream was shattered and crumbled last Saturday...
She decided that she doesn't want to continue this relationship to the next level. She has significant doubts regarding her true feeling for me, and the idea of marriage and spending the rest of her life with me seemed to be anything but wannabe reality. I was shocked. I was furious. I was shattered. My grand dream of having her as my partner for life suddenly vanished to thin air. I tried to talk her out of this, but her eyes told me that her determination was final. There was nothing I could do, and deep inside, my gut told me this one can not be salvaged. I know her for the past 3,5 years and I know for sure that she is a very determined woman. I was emotional, but luckily I have very good friends to support me. But back at home I was feeling so lonely... The air felt so cold right to the bone... My life was like empty. I prayed to God for strength, and although it was selfish, I was praying for her to change her mind. The next day I went to the church, praying for God to show me what is best for me and her. But more importantly, I was praying for strength and I sincerely hope for His blessing to keep me from being my old self, the one that was emotional to God and away from His will. I wanted Him to stand by my side as a shoulder to cry on. In the end, I prayed for Him so I can understand that His will is the best way for my life.
Right after that I called her saying that I accepted her decision and I pray nothing less but the best for her. But honestly, the flame of emotion was still raging in my heart. Then I called my parents and told them everything. They were shocked, but to my surprise they were calm. They gave me comfort and sense of security. They supported me and they didn't mind at all about the expenses that we have spent for the wedding day. They were by my side...
Suddenly I felt at peace... My emotion dissapeared and like what happened last December, God made everything fell into place. Once again, I was saved from the devil within me... Once again I learned and reminded by the power of God and how He stood right by my side. He was there and if it was His will, everything will work out just fine...
Maybe not all my dreams for this year will come into reality, but new dreams will come and maybe, just maybe, some of them will become reality. A wise person, a person that I respected a lot in my life, once told me: "There's only one way in life, that is forward." and just as the great man said, I will move forward for I'm certain that my life is still full of adventures!!!!
She decided that she doesn't want to continue this relationship to the next level. She has significant doubts regarding her true feeling for me, and the idea of marriage and spending the rest of her life with me seemed to be anything but wannabe reality. I was shocked. I was furious. I was shattered. My grand dream of having her as my partner for life suddenly vanished to thin air. I tried to talk her out of this, but her eyes told me that her determination was final. There was nothing I could do, and deep inside, my gut told me this one can not be salvaged. I know her for the past 3,5 years and I know for sure that she is a very determined woman. I was emotional, but luckily I have very good friends to support me. But back at home I was feeling so lonely... The air felt so cold right to the bone... My life was like empty. I prayed to God for strength, and although it was selfish, I was praying for her to change her mind. The next day I went to the church, praying for God to show me what is best for me and her. But more importantly, I was praying for strength and I sincerely hope for His blessing to keep me from being my old self, the one that was emotional to God and away from His will. I wanted Him to stand by my side as a shoulder to cry on. In the end, I prayed for Him so I can understand that His will is the best way for my life.
Right after that I called her saying that I accepted her decision and I pray nothing less but the best for her. But honestly, the flame of emotion was still raging in my heart. Then I called my parents and told them everything. They were shocked, but to my surprise they were calm. They gave me comfort and sense of security. They supported me and they didn't mind at all about the expenses that we have spent for the wedding day. They were by my side...
Suddenly I felt at peace... My emotion dissapeared and like what happened last December, God made everything fell into place. Once again, I was saved from the devil within me... Once again I learned and reminded by the power of God and how He stood right by my side. He was there and if it was His will, everything will work out just fine...
Maybe not all my dreams for this year will come into reality, but new dreams will come and maybe, just maybe, some of them will become reality. A wise person, a person that I respected a lot in my life, once told me: "There's only one way in life, that is forward." and just as the great man said, I will move forward for I'm certain that my life is still full of adventures!!!!
23 February 2009
Photography, a newly engaged hobby!
Gonna try on a new hobby... Will be waiting for your comments!!!
19 February 2009
09 February 2009
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
I watched the movie last Sunday, and the movie turned out to be one of the most unforgettable movies I have ever seen. The movie was based on a novel created by F Scott Fitzgerald, and although the setting and story are altered in certain way by David Fincher, the essence of the novel is still quite strong in the movie (of course this sensation can only be tasted by those that have read the novel).
Benjamin Button was borned in the end of the Great War (world war one) in the Button family. He was borned differently, a baby in the physical form of an 80 years old man. His father, Thomas Button disown him and intended to delete the baby from the face of this earth. But, through a series of fortunate events, Benjamin was saved and catered by Queenie. The strange thing was, and of course this is the core idea of the movie, as Benjamin grew older, his body has become younger. Queenie, who Benjamin regarded as his mother, only told him that he is only slightly different from other people and that he, no matter how he looks, is a miracle. Benjamin spent his childhood in the elderly home, accompanied by the elders who never thought of him as anything different.
The movie went on from how Benjamin met his very first love, Daisy, and his journey outside the house. He went for a job as a sailor in a tug boat, encountered his first love affair, attacked by a German U Boat and sunk the U Boat at the same time, met Daisy again and fell in love, and finally, had a daughter. He intentionally let go his family due to fact that Benjamin would only get younger and younger an at the same time Daisy would have to cope with "2 children" at the same time. The movie ended with Benjamin died in the form of a baby and with Alzheimer desease.
The resume that I wrote above can not represent the true story of the movie, nor the depth of the story. It touched my heart in a way that is hard for me to describe. There was a sense of happiness, but also sadness. There was a sense of pitty and envy at the same time. This is one movie that I can't label as a good movie, nor a bad one, for I'm still confused on how I react to this particular movie. However, this is one of those movies that leaves a long impression in your heart and unforgettable for a very long long time...
Conclusion: WATCH IT!!!
Benjamin Button was borned in the end of the Great War (world war one) in the Button family. He was borned differently, a baby in the physical form of an 80 years old man. His father, Thomas Button disown him and intended to delete the baby from the face of this earth. But, through a series of fortunate events, Benjamin was saved and catered by Queenie. The strange thing was, and of course this is the core idea of the movie, as Benjamin grew older, his body has become younger. Queenie, who Benjamin regarded as his mother, only told him that he is only slightly different from other people and that he, no matter how he looks, is a miracle. Benjamin spent his childhood in the elderly home, accompanied by the elders who never thought of him as anything different.
The movie went on from how Benjamin met his very first love, Daisy, and his journey outside the house. He went for a job as a sailor in a tug boat, encountered his first love affair, attacked by a German U Boat and sunk the U Boat at the same time, met Daisy again and fell in love, and finally, had a daughter. He intentionally let go his family due to fact that Benjamin would only get younger and younger an at the same time Daisy would have to cope with "2 children" at the same time. The movie ended with Benjamin died in the form of a baby and with Alzheimer desease.
The resume that I wrote above can not represent the true story of the movie, nor the depth of the story. It touched my heart in a way that is hard for me to describe. There was a sense of happiness, but also sadness. There was a sense of pitty and envy at the same time. This is one movie that I can't label as a good movie, nor a bad one, for I'm still confused on how I react to this particular movie. However, this is one of those movies that leaves a long impression in your heart and unforgettable for a very long long time...
Conclusion: WATCH IT!!!
05 February 2009
2nd Birthday in TAFS
One tradition that was held strongly in the office is celebrating any employee's birthday when it comes. It's a nice habit, keeps you away from all the hectic of work and makes you remember that you do have a life outside the office. Realizing the second part is essential in my office, considering how work life has infiltrated to personal life so extensively. One thing I definetely learned in the office is the fact that the theory of segregating work life and personal life is easier said than done. It might not be the case in other offices, but then again, comparison brings nothing to change the way things are done in my office.
In most cases, birthday parties are done in a suprise manner where the employee is in a situation where he/she is not expecting a nice cake (with side dishes most of the time) is delivered by his/her peers while singing "Happy Birthday". But, as I said before, it happens in most cases but not all cases. My 2nd birthday in TAFS is no surprise at all. January 24th happened to be on Saturday, so by the time I got into the office (which was on January 27th) the Birthday is already a news in the past. However, out of no where, my reliable comrade RRE explicitly stated that on January 28th 2009 a "surprise" birthday party will be held for me. Now, I think I'm pretty certain that the definition of "Surprise" has not changed over the past several hundred years.
What was going on in my smart, but rather eccentric, comrade is something beyond my logical understanding. But then again, it's the thought that counts...
So, my second birthday turned out to be an "intentionally expected" surprise, thanks to my good lad RRE. Well, no need to hassle. I'm going to miss her anyway after I leave my company and I'm not very sure that my next company will even hold such birthday in the future...
In most cases, birthday parties are done in a suprise manner where the employee is in a situation where he/she is not expecting a nice cake (with side dishes most of the time) is delivered by his/her peers while singing "Happy Birthday". But, as I said before, it happens in most cases but not all cases. My 2nd birthday in TAFS is no surprise at all. January 24th happened to be on Saturday, so by the time I got into the office (which was on January 27th) the Birthday is already a news in the past. However, out of no where, my reliable comrade RRE explicitly stated that on January 28th 2009 a "surprise" birthday party will be held for me. Now, I think I'm pretty certain that the definition of "Surprise" has not changed over the past several hundred years.
What was going on in my smart, but rather eccentric, comrade is something beyond my logical understanding. But then again, it's the thought that counts...
So, my second birthday turned out to be an "intentionally expected" surprise, thanks to my good lad RRE. Well, no need to hassle. I'm going to miss her anyway after I leave my company and I'm not very sure that my next company will even hold such birthday in the future...
03 February 2009
Another step...
January marks an ending and a new beginning in life. It is remarkable, at least to my own standard, how I got through December all in one piece. I'm sorry my dear readers, but I'm not going to go all the details of what happened on December 2008 since I believe that it wouldn't bother you much to scroll down a bit and read my previous posting.
All my life I have been a man of self conviction. I believe in my own plan, strength, and the combination of both. I disregard the presence of a higher power and took all the victories as nothing more than a personal account. Through the hard way, I have been corrected and convinced that my life is not solely determined by me alone. God plays the game, and He is more than just a player. He creates the game, sets the rules, and plays the role of a fair referee. The opponent is basically the other side of me, the egoistic snobbish arrogant bastard that believes only in himself. I'm fortunate to experience what I had experienced, for now I know that I'm starting to walk in the path of God.
Now, I have become another witness of God's helping hands. In the midst of uncertainties of my career which hangs in the tip of the balance, God showed His mercy by giving me another opportunity where I believe I can develop my career and a solid ground for building up a family like what I have planned (God willing) this year. The job description is challenging, the career path is promising, and the renumeration is satisfying. I'm grateful for His blessing and all I can do now is to pray that the decision I'm about to make is in line with what He has planned for me.
Looking back at all that have happened, I somehow feel that life is not complicated. All you have to do is to listen to what God has in mind for you and act accordingly. However, realizing that God's plan exists and works can take a life time to understand. In the end, it's us that makes life complicated, with our own personal plan and ego. I'm beginning to understand the meaning of acknowledging His plan. All I can hope now is that I will be strong enough to endure His plan, for His plan might not all be a rose garden, but it is the most suitable for my life.
God bless us all...
All my life I have been a man of self conviction. I believe in my own plan, strength, and the combination of both. I disregard the presence of a higher power and took all the victories as nothing more than a personal account. Through the hard way, I have been corrected and convinced that my life is not solely determined by me alone. God plays the game, and He is more than just a player. He creates the game, sets the rules, and plays the role of a fair referee. The opponent is basically the other side of me, the egoistic snobbish arrogant bastard that believes only in himself. I'm fortunate to experience what I had experienced, for now I know that I'm starting to walk in the path of God.
Now, I have become another witness of God's helping hands. In the midst of uncertainties of my career which hangs in the tip of the balance, God showed His mercy by giving me another opportunity where I believe I can develop my career and a solid ground for building up a family like what I have planned (God willing) this year. The job description is challenging, the career path is promising, and the renumeration is satisfying. I'm grateful for His blessing and all I can do now is to pray that the decision I'm about to make is in line with what He has planned for me.
Looking back at all that have happened, I somehow feel that life is not complicated. All you have to do is to listen to what God has in mind for you and act accordingly. However, realizing that God's plan exists and works can take a life time to understand. In the end, it's us that makes life complicated, with our own personal plan and ego. I'm beginning to understand the meaning of acknowledging His plan. All I can hope now is that I will be strong enough to endure His plan, for His plan might not all be a rose garden, but it is the most suitable for my life.
God bless us all...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
