A New Lesson...

When I started this year, I had wonderful hopes of what my life is going to be by the end of the year. A new career in a fine company that provides me with new challenges and opportunities, a new house to start a new life, and above all, a new family of me and the woman that I love dearly. Yes, I was planning to get married this year with the woman that, even until now, I' m very certain to spend the rest of my life with... Scenes like having her as the first person I will see when I open my eyes in the morning, pick her up on my way home from the office, or just watching DVD together on the weekend seem to be so real and far from far fetch. That dream was shattered and crumbled last Saturday...

She decided that she doesn't want to continue this relationship to the next level. She has significant doubts regarding her true feeling for me, and the idea of marriage and spending the rest of her life with me seemed to be anything but wannabe reality. I was shocked. I was furious. I was shattered. My grand dream of having her as my partner for life suddenly vanished to thin air. I tried to talk her out of this, but her eyes told me that her determination was final. There was nothing I could do, and deep inside, my gut told me this one can not be salvaged. I know her for the past 3,5 years and I know for sure that she is a very determined woman. I was emotional, but luckily I have very good friends to support me. But back at home I was feeling so lonely... The air felt so cold right to the bone... My life was like empty. I prayed to God for strength, and although it was selfish, I was praying for her to change her mind. The next day I went to the church, praying for God to show me what is best for me and her. But more importantly, I was praying for strength and I sincerely hope for His blessing to keep me from being my old self, the one that was emotional to God and away from His will. I wanted Him to stand by my side as a shoulder to cry on. In the end, I prayed for Him so I can understand that His will is the best way for my life.

Right after that I called her saying that I accepted her decision and I pray nothing less but the best for her. But honestly, the flame of emotion was still raging in my heart. Then I called my parents and told them everything. They were shocked, but to my surprise they were calm. They gave me comfort and sense of security. They supported me and they didn't mind at all about the expenses that we have spent for the wedding day. They were by my side...

Suddenly I felt at peace... My emotion dissapeared and like what happened last December, God made everything fell into place. Once again, I was saved from the devil within me... Once again I learned and reminded by the power of God and how He stood right by my side. He was there and if it was His will, everything will work out just fine...

Maybe not all my dreams for this year will come into reality, but new dreams will come and maybe, just maybe, some of them will become reality. A wise person, a person that I respected a lot in my life, once told me: "There's only one way in life, that is forward." and just as the great man said, I will move forward for I'm certain that my life is still full of adventures!!!!